“I been waiting, for my day to come, where my soul gets saved and the pain goes numb

She said Baby, it’s ok to run, know I’ll run with you if you need someone”

“Redemption” – Skrizzly Adams

I’ve thought a lot lately about the people in my life and why some of them are still there and why others are long gone. I’ve also thought a lot about why I’ve stayed with some and why I’ve had no problem letting others go.

I think that every person that comes through the revolving door of our life is a gift of some kind. Some gifts are disguised as hard lessons to learn and others shine bright in the glory of the joy they bring us. Some people bring a smile every time they pass through our thoughts and others cause anxiety and panic at the mention of their name. Both are important. Both have had an influence in building the life and person we’ve become and without just one, our lives might be completely different than the ones we know now.

We tend to want to keep the ones that bring joy and light close to us; they feed our souls and they show us how humans should be and what love feels like. They are easy to love because they embody everything that is good in the world. These are the people, that, as strange as it might sound, we need to share with the world, even though we want to keep them all to ourselves.  They spread love and joy everywhere they go and we should be comfortable letting them go because, well, they always come back. Always. These are the people who love everyone and everything. Let them love. Don’t try to corral them, or trap them or tie them to any one tree. The farther they spread their love, the better it is for mankind.

On the flipside, most of us run far away from the ones that bring us pain and anxiety. It’s easy to distance ourselves from them because they are surrounded in a fog of misery and self-pity that is like poison to our lungs. The more we breathe it in, the more we become like them and it usually doesn’t take us long to realize that they are sucking the joy from our lives and exhaling it back in our faces as despair and heartache. Most of us run. As far as we can.

I said most. Sometimes we don’t. Sometimes we hang on to people, even though we know they are killing us. We believe that if we love them enough, they will see that life is beautiful and kind. That our love can change their lives. Sometimes, yes sometimes, we can. But not always. And those are the times we need to leave them behind, before we begin to die from the fumes of their toxic words and actions. These can hurt because sometimes we have spent years and years of our lives trying to fix something that can’t ever be fixed. We realize it late in the game and the damage is done. We walk away but the memory of our failure lingers, sometimes for years to come. And as odd as it may sound, these people are a blessing. More than any other person in our lives, these people teach us a lesson about the value of ourselves, and that we should never value the existence of someone else more than we value our own. They shape us and in many ways, deepen our humanity.

The last group are the ones we struggle with. The ones we can’t explain. The ones we tell ourselves we should let go of and don’t. These are the ones we would die for, that we would sacrifice our own happiness to ensure theirs, that we push up the hill when they are tired and allow to roll over us when the momentum is in their favor. To us, they are the reason the sun rises and sets each day and we struggle to hold the moon overhead to light their darkness. These are the ones that test us, that push us to the outer edges of kindness and a little into the realm of manipulation. They bring us more joy than we feel we deserve and cause us more pain than is right. But these people, they feel the same way about us. They fill our dark days with light when we need it and they forgive us when we lash out in frustration. They stand next to us; not in front of us, not behind us. They know us better than we know ourselves because they’ve been us, they are us. And we them.

This is where we learn true love – not the kind that fades with time and familiarity – but the kind that stays with us till the day we die, and fills us with hope that it will never end and at the same time, sadness knowing it must. Some of us will be lucky enough to have several of these. Others may have only one. It doesn’t matter how many, whether they are a man or a woman or even how long you’ve known them. All that matters is you keep them. Keep them forever. Fight for them when they need it and let them stand in the spotlight when their day comes. Lean on them when you feel weak, stand tall and strong when they need it. Be human. Ask for forgiveness and give it as well. Be their redemption and let them be yours. Just sail.

“She said roll down the windows, yell out loud that you’re mad as hell but you won’t back down

And you can’t stop a river that won’t slow down, so just sail. You’re not alone…”