Let me first tell you what it ISN'T. This is not the place to come and read about what I ate last night or the cocktail I had at that hip new distillery on my block. I'm not going to tell you about that hot new band on the local music scene and I honestly don't know what the fuck to do about your "winged" eyeliner. Seriously, I don't. You won't find any Top 10's...hell, I can rarely come up with a Top 3. I'm not good at those type of decisions and I feel bad leaving anyone out (sorry kale). I also can't tell you what to do to get your girlfriend back and I don't know the magic words to make him stay.

The only thing you will find here are observations on the human condition. And when I say human condition, I mean me. You are here to read about me. What I think. Why I think that way. ME mE Me. All of me. Sometimes ugly as sin and other times more heart-wrenchingly beautiful than all of those Instagram sunsets everyone seems to be so in love with (I actually prefer the sun coming up if I'm honest).

Who am I? No one. And everyone. I'm uniquely me and at the same time, I'm all of you. I've had experiences you'll never have and I've done everything you've done. I'm here to tell you stories because it's therapeutic for me. Writing makes me clean. As the words pour out, it's like the best shower I've ever had. It's the hottest water; the most wonderful smelling soap; the most cleansing shampoo; the most luxurious conditioner. Clean is wonderful because at times I feel disgustingly dirty. This is my version of lather, rinse, repeat. It's my truth and the truth is clean.

Some of what I have to say might offend you. I'm not going to apologize for that. My head, my thoughts. I'm incarcerated in my own private prison and it happens to be visiting hour. You can leave any time you like. I'm here for the rest of my life.